Last Night

Lost track of time...

Querétaro: Week 8 1/2

I'm sitting at the Querétaro Starbucks near los arcos and I can't really focus on my homework so I'm going to write for a bit. That usually helps me concentrate.

Paul, Cristina, Stephanie, Charlotte, Floor, Loni and Rebecca went to Ixtapa and Zihuatanejo for the weekend but for various reasons I opted out of the trip and stayed in Querétaro. I have a year down here and I'm not in any hurry.

Friday Crisitina and I went to the gym. She does weights and stuff but I did an hour and a half of cardio. I really wish I could do that everyday... If I get up early enough and take a taxi I think I could squeeze in an hour and a half in and a shower before my 10am class.

Also, I went to Las Gallerias yesterday and finally found Eurotrip! Also, I bought some cute stuff at Zara but I need to find some black leggings before I wear the skirt. It goes to my knees but its pretty floaty.

My Spanish is slowly getting better. I just have to tell myself not to panic when people start talking to me. And, not be afraid to just tell them to TALK SLOWER.

I realize that because I need to save up for a camera I shouldn't be going on any epic vacations this summer but I don't think backpacking up the coast of Mexico is out of the question. I want to go home with a kick ass tan of course!

I threw out a couple questions to Mike and Joey but I doubt anyone will come with me. I'm also pretty certain that the only person that will visit me in Mexico during the next year is going to be my Mom.

Nathaniel (on that topic)... says hes not ready for a relationship. I understand it's ridiculous we even had that discussion because I'm so far away and whatever... I've analyzed things enough in my my journal I don't need to do it here but for whoever may be reading... I no longer have a man friend.

I feel a little out of place sometimes with the other international kids because they really like to drink, some get naked and some have random hookups. That's never been me and nothing that could happen with anyone here could be permanent.

I've gone longer than 8 months single at a time and that's not the part that bothers me... It's that I already know there is no possibility I'm going to have anyone special in my life for 8 months or longer. In the absence of possibility things can get depressing.

My life is pretty fucking cool and it makes me sad I don't have anyone to share it with. I can only drag Billy, Nick or Chris on so many activities for company. I thought Nathaniel and I had possibility and half of me still does and truly believes all the reason we need a different tone on things right now. But, having generally low self esteem part of me whispers to not get my hopes up for May because I'm just not that special.

So, unless I'm about to go to sleep or writing I generally don't think about him on purpose.

I think about going to the gym (and being excited to go), doing homework, who I'm hanging out with that day or future travels.

My reading has slowed down since Eat/Pray/Love but I'm going to jumpstart it again. I want to finish every book I brought with me and some before december. It doesn't sound like that big of a deal but the complete short stories of Hemingway is probably going to take 2 weeks or 3 considering we have partials soon.

I bought my ticket home for Christmas. December 10th till January 9th. It's going to be my first birthday away from my parents and my first in a different country. And then, I'm going to be old.

Do I dare to eat a peach...?

Querétaro: Week 7 1/2

Yesterday was the day following Mexican Independence Day and the day I declared as MY Independence Day. I don’t want to brood anymore over things I can’t change.

            In the morning I went to school to print out a paper I had written for my history of Latin America class (which I forgot to turn in). Cristina and I met up at 9 to take the bus to school. I managed to sneak into class only a minute or two late with a cup of coffee in hand.

            The line at the school café is ridiculously slow. I think this is partially a cultural thing. When you walk up to the girl you have to give your “Buenos Dias” and then exchange your “Como estas” before you can get on to ordering.

            If I do end up moving to another apartment I am going to buy a coffee maker first thing… maybe learn how to make a French press. I do love the stove top espresso maker Joey bought me but sitting and mulling over a giant cup of Café Americana is something like praying for me.

            I love espresso but drinking 16 ounces of it might give me a heart attack, after it turns my teeth black.

            Our history class did something new on Thursday, we arranged ourselves in a circle and discussed things… It started out as a discussion comparing Mexican Independence Day to celebrations we have in America (in Spanish) and quickly evolved (or devolved) into an all-English discussion about certain cultural aspects of America culture.

            I attempted to make the joke in Spanish that the reason Cinco De Mayo became more important in America than Diez y Seis De Septiembre was because we didn’t have any may holidays. I’m not sure if the teacher realized I was joking…  Several of my teachers have told me I need to work on my voice inflection when I talk. I speak almost in a whispering monotone unless I am completely sure what I am saying is grammatically correct.

            I put way too much sugar in this cappuccino…

            I’ve come to Punto Café because sometimes I get sheepish about how often I go to Sunny’s, although I know I’m going to go there right after this. I really wanted a salad and while the cobb salads are really expensive here they are really really good.

            I do have to go to Sunny’s to do homework though.

            The waiter here remembered my name and came and asked me if I was okay. I told him I’m fine just a little tired. My face doesn’t radiate happiness all the time and I don’t think I’ve mastered the facial expression of serenity.

            Back to Thursday…

            I sware one of the SFSU girls told the class that ‘bitch’ is a term of endearment among women, or a term of solidarity. I thought that was outrageous and could hardly hold back my giggles.

            I think I did fairly well in my Advanced Communication Class later that day. I held an okay conversation with one of my classmates in Spanish about what I think the differences in American holiday celebrating and Mexican holiday celebrating.

            I have a few things to submit online for that class today but my grade is better than I expected it would be. Also, I am doing really well in my intermediate Spanish class. I have an 83% and got an 86% on our midterm which I am totally thrilled about. I have to WORK in the class so I will take a B all day long and be absolutely stoked.

            If I don’t get an 85% average in all of my classes I could get sent home. The only class I am worried about right now is my History of Latin America class… and I’m sure it doesn’t help that I forgot to turn in that 3 page paper on Thursday. Sweet…

            Thursday night is treated more like a Friday here even though quite a few people have Friday classes (I don’t). So Paul motivated a large group of his Gay Mexican friends and his Straight School friends into going out to a club after 6 of us went out to dinner.

            Well, after dinner we met up at an outdoor patio and had a few beers before going to the club. At the patio I had 2 beers… Cristina had 4. She is at least six inches shorter than me and I am continuously impressed with how much she can and does drink.

            To go to ‘Heaven’ which I can safely call Paul’s favorite Gay Club we all climbed into different cars. Cristina and I rode with Mauricio who is a very very attractive man. His boyfriend was driving one of the other cars but when Mauricio went inside a store to buy cigarettes Cristina and I drooled over him. His clothes fit nice, his hair is stylish without being creepy and he has a really handsome way of laughing and talking even though I only understand about 60% of what he says. He asked Cristina why she was trying to quit smoking… and then asked me if I did.

            I told Mauricio “Cuando estoy baracho pero me gusta marijuana mas…” Which has a few grammar mistakes in it and made me sound like a pothead although it is totally true. I have only smoked cigarettes when I am drunk and if I had to pick which I enjoy more I would pick weed.

            When I uttered that sentence Cristina absolutely died laughing. I don’t speak Spanish in front of her very often and she thought it was hilarious that of all the words I do know (which is only a small percentage of the Spanish language obviously) I can convey to someone that I only smoke when I’m drunk and I like weed better. Yet, I don’t know the word for clumsy which would be infinitely more helpful in my daily life.

            Other updates… Nathaniel and I have been having communication problems. Meaning, he takes almost a week to reply to my e-mails and I get to talk to him in real time maybe once a week. I decided to stop brooding over it. I want to hang out with him when I get home but I’m totally over putting out as much effort as I have been.

            Since I’ve been here I’ve gotten to talk to Billy on the phone at good length a few times and we’ve exchanged e-mails but I hadn’t heard from him in a while. He realized I was getting unhappy about it and felt bad and wrote me a spectacularly long e-mail about all the stuff going on in his life. It was maybe 1,500 or 2,000 words, which for me could be considered the higher end of my average e-mail. For Billy, it’s probably the most hes ever written for something not school related.

            He was telling me about the cool things going on right now and some of his ideas and concerns for the future. He has come up with a really cool business idea that I think he should make a serious try at after he gets his BA.

            I replied to all of the points in his e-mail and talked a little bit about whats going on with me. I told him about something I realized while reading a book the other day: I really miss Italy. Not more than I miss people at home but as far as a physical place goes I miss it more than anything else. And, missing a place you can’t be at feels a lot like getting your heart broken. Physically I am fine but it huuuurts when I really think about it.

            I need to live there someday. There is no way around it.

            Missing friends and family isn’t as dramatic because I can at least talk to him. I can’t sit down at a dinner table with my parents or daydream about travel over a slice of pizza with Krenzer but I can talk to them about the next time it gets to happen.

            Thinking and not knowing about the next time I will amble between the Coliseum, Vatican, Pantheon, Termini and my gelato shop with perfect navigational skills after enjoying some fresh Italian cappuccino foam hurts.

            Oh Italy, you break my heart…

            In the mean time I can think about Cuba for a possible spring break vacation, Oaxaca in October and have received and invite to visit Alan in Kyoto. That would be crazy amazing. I’ve promised myself to never let my age be more than the number of countries I have been to. Which depending on my memory is 22 or 23 places. This makes Cuba (or somewhere in South America) plus Japan pretty intense.

            On top of these grandiose travel plans I need to really start saving up for a new camera. I need it before I graduate, no way around it. But I also know I can start making some serious strides towards saving until I get home and get a job. However, I did send a story pitch to the Chronicle yesterday and I am waiting to hear back.

            crosses fingers

Querétaro: Week 4 1/2

I am really melancholy today. Maybe I was yesterday too but yesterday was better day.

I was talking to mom and man friend on the computer when I first got up around 1 and the feelings that have been brewing for the past few days came out. I started crying in the café and put my sunglasses on so the people wouldn't see.

It's not Querétaro and it's not Mexico that's doing it. But, once in a while even at home I'm sad for a week or two even if everything is great. 

Monday I need to make myself start at the gym. I've been loosing some weight while I've been here but I have goals I'd like to meet.

I'd like to be able to run a 10k next summer.

And once we move to SF I know Billy would willingly be my running buddy. 

But, it's all going to have to start at the gym on the elliptical and bike machine...

I don't think man friend is going to come visit me while I'm here... it's too much money to come for too few days. But, Joey says hes going to be down here for day of the dead so if man friend doesn't come JT and I will go shoot some stuff.

I need to start saving for a better camera. I keep thinking of all these trips I want to go on but I just need a better camera and an internship. That needs to be a bigger concern right now than traveling. 

I need to go full frame and get at least 2 more lenses. 

I have so much homework to do and it's taking a lot of effort to just not go home and go to sleep. My sleep pattern has gotten back to normal and I can't start back to where I was when I first came to Querétaro... napping and then not being able to get up till noon. I only slept in today because I could. 

Next weekend I'm not going to be able to do anything fun because the following week is our first rounds of tests... the week after that I really want to go somewhere by myself... an alex adventure.

It's a photo life...

Querétaro: Week 4

I get way more homework from classes at the Tech than I ever got at DVC or SFSU. This whole slacking in another language doesn't work so well... I'll need to work on that.

I'm sitting here at Mizha Crepe and they know my order now... Gloria Jean's across the street knows my name. This is getting funny. But, although I'm living here in Mexico until next May I can't help but think of other trips I want to do. 

I just put at least 6 flights on fare watch for next summer. If any of them dip below $600 it's a done deal. I really want to go to Japan but I really need to look at a lonely planet long and hard before I make that decision... It would be really expensive and saving money is obviously hard because it has to be saved out of the living money my parents give me while I am in Mexico.

Some of the study abroad kids seem very ethnocentric about the way they look at things here but most of them would be cool to grab beers with. 

I think my bullfight pictures upset a lot of people at home... it's real. There's nothing I can do about it and I'm not going to judge something like that. I'm more concerned about human rights than some gruesome animal related customs.

I really like all of my teachers here... even the ones that teach the really hard classes. My advanced conversation class is really difficult. I don't understand the homework fully and I'm intimidated to ask for extra clarification every single time. 

There is a screaming child in the café right now and it's driving me up the wall... I can't handle loud children in restaurants.

A lot of the study abroad kids are going on some pre-paid field trip this weekend and I really don't want to go. I could see it as being stressful and I kind of just want to hang out by myself this weekend. So, I'm not going although everyone keeps hassling me about it.

Next week has to be different with this whole homework thing... which I'm going to get on right now.

 

Querétaro: Week 3

I got tired of counting days. From now on I will go by weeks.

I am sitting in a café in Querétaro... more like a small restaurant with a small menu that serves coffee products. It's cute and it has some pretty good and decently priced food. 

I haven't been shocked in a bad way by anything I've seen or done in Mexico so far... But some of the other study abroad kids seem shell shocked by living here. Maybe it's because they've never traveled much or just had the wrong perception of life here would be like... I can't tell you.

I like the Irish girl but she says everything she eats here "disgusts" her. Absolutely everything. I kind of wanted to tell her she could boil her own potatoes... but I'm not sure that would go over so well.

Then there are two girls from SFSU that put "mexico on blast" on their facebook statuses and notes nearly every day. Some of the things they complain about are a little absurd... Ireland is only here for 6 months but the SFSU girls have a whole year just like I do!

I hope for their sakes they start liking Querétaro more... or it's going to be a really long year.

I told Nathaniel yesterday that there isn't anything I don't like about Querétaro. It's a cool little city. The things I don't like have nothing to do with the city its self. If my parents, Billy and Nathaniel were here I'd be loving every minute.

I found a Indian food restaurant and ate at it yesterday... it was pretty good and totally exceeded my expectations. 

Querétaro... You're pretty cool but I really miss people.

Friday afternoon I am journeying to Huamantla with Cristina and Paul... It should be an interesting weekend. I don't really feel like drinking...

All the international kids seem to want to party every single night. If you want to go out and get hammered on a tuesday someone else is totally willing to go with you. Wednesday? Not a problem. I heard people talking about Dorsia tonight. Dorsia isn't even that great!

It reminded me of "The Epidemic" from when I was back in High School in more ways than one. I'm more of a pub and dive bar girl so although Wicklow is pretty touristy a quiet beer there will do just fine.

Anyways, I do have some homework to get to... I'll be thrilled if I pass all my classes.