Near split second decisions

Back in january or february I realized looking at a flyer that unless I decided to get an MA my chance at studying abroad would be over in a matter of weeks. I told some people about the looming application deadline and all of them said to go. Mom, Dad, Mr. Dunn and travel friends alike echoed the same thing.

Fill out the paper. Do the interviews. Decide later.

I applied, not thinking I would be accepted because my GPA is pretty weak...

I was accepted. I've attended meetings.

Unless the swine flu reaches epic proportions of crazyness I will be moving to Mexico at the end of July and live in Querétaro for about 10 months.

That's a lot to commit to. I have no problems planning "fun travel" a century in advance but the idea of living in Mexico for 10 months doesn't leave much room for romanticism. 

What I'm saying is that living in mexico lacks the exoticism of moving to south america, the glamour of moving to Europe and the newness of moving to Asia (I've never been). My daydreams aren't dream like. I know what I'm in for. 

And to top it off... I have a hard enough time finding guys in AMERICA to date. What am I going to do in a country where I am taller than 90% of the population? 

That's a silly concern really- that I've throw in for comedy, but, in truth it's not very funny. It just makes me feel/seem shallow.

If I come back from Mexico in May of 2010 speaking perfect spanish the homesick and loneliness I will go through will have been worth it. Unfortunately there's no way to know if the juice is worth the squeeze before you've picked the fruit...

There are so many things going on in my head. Picking them out of the mix to focus on one at a time is proving to be really difficult. It's like trying to focus on ONE fly out of a fruit fly neon storm. Like trying to hear one instrument in a crescendo of a hundred. 

So eventually I say *fuck it* and focus and the most enjoyable of the mix and let the rest go by the wayside...

It's getting easier to pick and choose my battles as a get older.